Have Today’s Women Taken On Too Much?
Mar 20th, 2009 | By Sheryl MacTavish | Category: UncategorizedExhausted after putting in a day’s work, I climb into my car and drive to the babysitter’s house. Collecting my daughter, we drive home, chatting noisily as we catch up on the events of each other’s day. As we arrive home, I’m faced with a messy house, laundry that needs to be done, and supper that needs to be cooked. After supper, there are baths to be given, and bedtime stories to be read.
This is a typical day in the life of many working women, and while most of us have husbands to assist in some of our daily chores, the truth is, woman shoulder most of the burden in maintaining a household, and taking care of the families therein.
The Week The Women Went, is a humorous Canadian reality TV show which documents the lives of men, left alone to juggle work, home, and family, while their wives and partners spend a well deserved week-long vacation away from their loved ones. This experiment is meant to prove the women’s worth; to show the men that the lives of women are far more complex than they might have previously believed. But there is nothing humorous about the number of women finding it harder and harder to balance work, family, and home.
When I was a young girl, I remember my mother passionately declaring that,“women had screwed themselves with women’s liberation!” She would say this while wiping the sweat from her furrowed brow. It was her opinion that women had taken on too much in life, and that a woman’s place was in the home, raising her children and tending to her home, and not in the work force. However, due to the unavoidable costs and necessities of life, my mother had little choice but to work outside of the home.
In my mother’s defense, she is the hardest working woman I’ve ever known. She has raised three children, all the while working full-time at one thankless job or another. Keeping her house immaculately clean, she also cooked, baked, washed laundry, and helped the three of us with our school work. She even repaired whatever happened to need fixing around the house, as my father has never been much of a handy man. My mother exists in the have-it-all era, but for her it’s been more like do-it-all. Her mornings begin far too early and she rarely stops until late into the evening.
When I was expecting my first child, I looked back on my mother’s life and questioned my own capabilities. After all, living in the expensive and materialistic age that we do, it’s nearly impossible for the average family to survive on one income alone, never mind adding a baby into the mix. Without a doubt, I knew that I, too, would follow in my mother’s footsteps.
Today’s women wear many hats. Besides our careers and/or jobs, we are wife, mother, daughter, housekeeper, chef, tutor, laundress, etc. But are we beginning to loose ourselves? Have we over-burdened ourselves in our attempt to “have it all”? Some women think so, and are opting to put their jobs and careers on hold to raise their children, or, at the very least, choosing to work part-time, allowing them more time to nurture their own families, as well as themselves. Some are even venturing to start their own home-based businesses as an alternative to the nine-to-five regimens of years past.
It’s no secret that women today have put such unattainable expectations on themselves, striving to reach Super Mom status, while neglecting their own wants and needs. In this fast-paced world that we all live in, I worry that today’s women are on the fast track to mental, emotional, and physical burn out. What then? Who will then take care of the mother’s of the world?
There is a saying that I strive to live by: When Mama’s happy, everyone’s happy. First and foremost, it is a woman’s job to ensure that she, herself, is happy. There’s nothing that sends Papa bear and the cubs running for the hills faster, than a grumpy, overworked and under-appreciated Mama Bear.
Find something you love to do, something that will rejuvenate your soul—and no, taking a shower or grocery shopping is not considered “Me” time, ladies. Enroll in dance lessons, attend a pottery class, or learn how to scrapbook. Go out for coffee, or make soap with a friend. Whatever you choose to do, enjoy it. In the long run, your family will thank you for it!
And speaking of family, put them to work! Create a chores list with everyone’s name on it, and appoint age-appropriate chores for each member of the family to carry out on a daily basis. Not only will your to-do-list be shortened, but it will teach your children that running a household is a family affair, and not the sole responsibility of a mother.
But if, after all your best efforts, you still find yourself overwhelmed by today’s standard of what a modern Mom aught to be, you may need to make a few changes in your life. For myself, I have chosen part-time work as opposed to working full-time. This allows me to spend more time with my girls, as well as the means to contribute to my family’s financial needs.
Whatever path you decide to follow, remember to take care of yourself. We are woman, first, and foremost, and while it may not be the magic solution to the stresses thrust upon the women of today, I believe it’s definitely a step in the right direction.
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